Nurturing Resilience and Mental Toughness Through Community
Eight years ago, I stumbled into what I thought was just another gym and that stumble changed my life. What I quickly realized was that SEALFIT, located in Encinitas, CA, was more than a CrossFit gym. it was a community, a family, a tribe. It was through this community that I not only fell in love with CrossFit, but I was also learned tools that gym owner Mark Divine describes in his book, Way of the Seal, support resilience and mental toughness “on and off the battlefield”.
Excuse me, what?!? I’m not here just for a workout???
Umm, not quite.
Workout after workout I’d push my body to the limits, or so I thought were my limits, yet each new workout brought me one step further than I thought was physically and mentally possible than the day before.
Mark was right.
It was as though each workout acted as a catalyst, little by little, to build resilience and mental toughness. I was learning how to grow and lean into, instead of away from, the physical and mental challenges of each workout.
When my thoughts would drift to “I can’t do this anymore” or “This is too hard,” the community, my tribe, would lift me up. I would hear, “You’ve got this!”, “Easy day!”, “You’re almost there!”
Unbeatable Mind Experience, Carlsbad, California
These words of encouragement allowed me to cut through whatever was holding me back and provide a much-needed boost of energy that I didn’t think was available to me. This community showed me not only how much more I was capable of in the gym, but also in LIFE.
These golden nuggets have helped me face challenges in life ever since I stumbled into SEALFIT years ago. I now have the capacity to not only lean into and face challenges that have come up, but also continue to heal past wounds that I was not able to face at the time.
One of those past wounds was (and is) my relationship with work, how I work. I learned from an early age that “I must work hard” — work hard until there is nothing left. So, naturally, without thinking I threw all my time and energy, everything I had, into building my career. Yet I was left completely exhausted, burned out, my body ached, depleted by an unhealthy marriage, and completely miserable. While putting everything into building my career, I completely lost track of who I was and what I wanted out of life. I was so busy doing life that I was not living life. This state of being, of LIVING, left me with a couple burning questions.
“How did I get here?”
“Seriously…how did this happen?”
When I finally slowed down enough to ask myself these questions, my gut, my intuition, had something powerful to say.
“That is enough, you are done. No more of this. It is time to make a change.”
Yes, I just quoted my intuition. 😊
In that moment I knew that big changes were already in the works for me. While I was scared (more like terrified), I was also ready. Instead of focusing on all the scary parts, the stories I would tell myself about how hard it would be, I focused on what I wanted life to look like for me.
I knew that I wanted to be a positive role model for my son; a loving and supportive mother, daughter, sister, and friend; a steward of the environment, help others in need, and be the best human being that I could be. As I continue to focus on living in this way with these goals in mind, life continues to shift and unfold in a way that feels more grounded and in alignment with how I want to live life independent of what is going on in the world.
Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy. It has been hard, really hard, yet feeling supported by others and leaning into the discomfort has allowed me to grow and live in a way that aligns with what I used to only dream of.
The last couple of years have highlighted for many of us how hard it can be to just exist, to be here now. For some of us, this time of change has ignited a deep sense of longing for something else yet not knowing what that is besides (you fill in this space). Yet I also see this time as an opportunity to see the humanness in all of us — that we are all experiencing challenges of our own and in our own way. That while we may not look, sound, act, believe, etc. the same as others, we are all the same in the way that we are ALL human.
We are not made to experience life alone.
There is such power in connection, love, support, and the company of others. We have an opportunity to lift each other up in a way that communities, families, and tribes have done for thousands of years. Anytime is the time to connect with what kind of person each one of us wants to be AND what kind of imprint we want to leave here long after we are gone. How empowering is that?
The gym closed a few years ago and I have since moved across the country. While I am only connected with my former SEALFIT community, my tribe, on social media and the occasional text message, the positive imprint they left on me and how it shaped my attitude toward life will last forever. This added resilience and mental toughness gave me the courage to make shifts and changes that are and will continue to be part of my lifelong journey that transformed how I live life, how I see life.
Recently after reflecting on my experience at SEALFIT, I walked (instead of stumbled) into another gym, Hyalite CrossFit, in Bozeman, MT and I immediately felt a sense of belonging, a sense of community. I cannot wait to see what this next chapter looks like for me. What does your next chapter look like?
Note: SEALFIT was founded in 2007 by Mark Divine, retired Navy Seal Commander, best-selling NY times author, and Unbeatable Mind. While the gym closed in 2017 to free up space and energy for Mark and his team to focus efforts on building other areas of the business, the spirit lives on in each of us today.
